The Process of Recovery

To hear this Episode, check out our podcast!

Most entering early recovery are very impatient about wanting results. 

It makes sense that one would feel that way. We go to the gym we expect instant results. We start going through the heavy and difficult efforts of lifting weights, and we want to see muscles start popping up, and we want to see our fat dissolve before our very eyes.

Well, with recovery, it doesn’t work like that. And for a very good reason. You see, addiction is a process that takes years to develop. Consequently, like a first-timer to the gym, we aren’t simply going to begin a new difficult and often painful effort at first, and expect immediate results. 

It took time to get to where we are, and it’s going to take an equal amount of time to change the brain’s way of thinking. 

You see, through addiction, the brain has gone through a serious re-wiring to expect a reward for the drug and alcohol use. 

For many, the first time we have experimented with drugs or alcohol was as teen-agers. We go to our first house party or kegger, and we note how good it feels to get that first buzz. 

We all feel it, but for some of us, that buzz is perhaps a good feeling we haven’t really experienced that much. We may come at this new high with a background with depression or anxiety, either caused naturally or through some trauma from growing up in a dysfunctional or dangerous environment. Or, we came from a household in which drugs were used as a way to cope. 

The drugs create a newfound sense of euphoria that at least at first glance appear as a game-changer. A magic elixir that somehow calms us or numbs us, and makes the world’s problems seem to drift by and go away. 

From a technical standpoint, the drugs work on a part of the brain called the cerebellum, and access neurotransmitters called dopamine that are used normally to prompt us to take care of ourselves. These neurotransmitters are tasked with making us feel hungry, to ensure we get something to eat. As we need food to stay alive. They remind us to drink water to stay hydrated. They arouse us to become intimate, so we procreate and keep the human race going. They even provide us with the motivation to get off the couch and to get active, to exercise, take care of the house, our business or to do chores. To get out and do something with our spare time.

But when abused, these neurotransmitters can create a sense of pleasure that the brain takes note of. Like a computer, the brain makes a file of this pleasurable experience, to remind us that this event was indeed fun, and we should definitely do this again if we want to get that same rush of pleasure as we did before. 

For those with a more grounded and balanced life, it may not create such a strong reward, as we may be able to naturally create that sense of pleasure or contentment on our own. But for others who haven’t had the luxury of such a functional upbringing, it may afford us with a sense of exhilaration or happiness that we have never felt before. 

It makes good sense that we would then gravitate toward this new special buzz, given how nice it makes us feel. 

After a while, the brain begins to crave this drug to access this pleasure, but the brain in essence tries to seek a balance and tries to limit the use of these neurotransmitters, as they are needed to keep us going, keep us alive.  The brain is aware of this chemical imbalance, and tries to put the brakes on, limiting the amount of dopamine that it provides when we are using drugs. 

So this is how tolerance is created, and this is definitely a warning sign that we are abusing drugs, and need to pay close attention to how our habits have changed. When we were a teen-ager, we may have gotten a good buzz on just a few drinks. But now we may be able to drink quite a bit more. Five, six, seven drinks at a sitting. Sometimes, we may start drinking an entire bottle of vodka or whiskey, or we may find that we need a stronger mix of meth or opiates to get the same buzz we’ve had before.

This process again doesn’t just happen overnight. For some, the process may take years to develop. For others, it could turn to addiction much more rapidly depending on our reliance and consumption of the drug. 

But either way you look at it, this neural rewiring of the brain begins to dominate the reward center of the cerebellum, and soon, more healthy activities, like going to the movies, having a pizza with friends, or even playing in a softball game, just don’t generate the same level of fun and excitement as one might experience when we take a strong shot of booze or we snort a line of coke or crank. 

Things quickly get off kilter, and our whole life is turned upside down as we tend to rely on this chemical fix, above everything else. We bypass healthy activities, and start to turn people away to spend more time with our new friend. We don’t need them anymore, right, because we have everything we need, right in that magic powder or that bottle. 

All we have to do is just curl up in front of the TV, with our bottle and we are fine. We can get by, just fine.

So with your whole life centering around this love of the drug, can we at all function as we once had before? Can we meet family obligations, pick up the kids as we are supposed to do, get to the grocery store and buy food for us and perhaps our family? Can we go to our daughter’s baseball game? Can we spend quality time with our family? Can we make it to work on time, when we’re feeling bad from a hangover or from withdrawals from our drug of choice? Or are we able to go to work at all?

Can we function at all anymore?

Oftentimes, the answer is no, we cannot. Given how wacked out our world has become, it is any wonder how we can function at all anymore. And now, we need to put this drug down, and just quit? 

Now let's revisit early recovery, and why it might take longer than we think to thrive without our drug of choice.

So we are in early recovery, and we’re feeling pretty crappy. For good reason. Our brain is so accustomed to relying on our drug of choice to feel good that we now know no other way to derive pleasure from the simple things in life. Our brain is now depleted of the dopamine and serotonin and other neurotransmitters that allow us to function and to feel good. 

We have abandoned all other healthier activities in favor of our drug time, and we have pretty much lost our way. We may have lost our jobs, we may have lost our wives or husbands. We may also be estranged from family and friends during our drug-using behavior.

To an outside observer, some may also show impatience with us. 

“Why don’t you just stop drinking? Look at what it has done to your life?”

Well, if it has taken several years to get to this point, it’s going to take an equally long amount of time to piece everything back together. 

Recovery is so much more than a simple game of stopping drug or alcohol use. 

In fact, it involves a whole re-mapping of our life, or reconnecting all the broken pieces. Of learning how to once again enjoy life without the aid of a chemical substance to make us feel good.

In the early stages, it of course is the hardest as we have these cravings to seek that chemical reward. That quick fix that makes all those problems vanish, if only for a short while. But through that early, tough journey, we will need help in starting to learn to live again and to enjoy life’s simple things. 

And, we will learn, perhaps for the first time in our lives, how to cope with problems that before we would gloss over with booze or drugs. How to manage our anger. How to improve our way of thinking. How to challenge negativity. How to calm ourselves without the use of a chemical substance. How to enjoy the simple things in life. And how to take charge of our life again. To return to a healthy life,  without the need for this chemical fix.

One thing to remember about that brain re-wiring. We have chemically manipulated the brain over the years so it just doesn’t work as well as it once had. That’s why it’s now classified as a mental health disorder. A disease of the brain. It makes good sense that if you monkey around with the inner workings of the brain, you are going to run into some problems as you try to fix it. 

And as with the development of the addiction, recovery itself is a process, and one that can take years to perfect. 

Relapse is in itself a part of that process. So many of those in early recovery actually fall back onto drugs or alcohol abuse because it is our previous “go-to” method of coping. And when the dopamine level is low, we are at our most vulnerable. That’s why in early recovery, it’s important to ensure we seek out medical assistance to ensure that the chemical withdrawals are manageable and don’t impact our health.

Along the way, we must also create a road map to avoid the large number of triggers that may easily lure us back to our drug of choice. This may involve people in our lives. It may involve certain places in our lives where we make that connection to drug use. Or activities that remind us of drug use. The triggers are also internal, and are activated based on the shifting of our moods. A bad day at work might trigger that desire to use again, to self medicate.

Now let's explore how to navigate around that impatience we might have to make everything better again. 

As with the 12-step teachings, we need to take things One Day At a Time.

Why the narrow focus? Well, because experts have known for years that those with chemical addictions will easily grow impatient with the slow progress of recovery, and the thought of trying to do it all at once is honestly just too much to bear. 

If we have a bad day, and are impatient with our early recovery, we may be inclined to go back to our chemical high to save the day. We need to take it easy, and go slow. 

That’s why in early recovery, wellness programs stress monthly or quarterly treatment plans, to break down our reovery into small, digestible baby steps. Rather than win back the wife and the children, perhaps focus more on making personal strides first, and perhaps seeking mediation as preliminary steps to seek reconciliation. And to celebrate the small steps toward these action plans. Rejoicing in the fact that your spouse is noticing your positive actions, and is even willing to seek a dialogue on the subject. 

We must also begin to re-socialize and to seek fellowship, as another tenet of the 12-step program is to realize we have an unmanageable problem, and we can’t fight this battle alone. We need fellowship. We need spirituality, or an opening of our narrow universe to let healthy folks back into our life. 

This is where sponsorship is so critically important here. We need a calm, yet firm, reassuring source of optimism and guidance to move us away from our cravings for our old drug. 

And the importance of the “One Day at a Time” concept is not to get too hung up on these lapses and these missteps, as again, it is a process that took years to tear down. And now its going to take years to build back up. 

One. Day. At. A. Time.

Patience is important here. And the celebration of small victories, which are building blocks on the road to a successful and sustained recovery. 

It is far from ever perfect. And it is just part of the illness that there will always be strong urges and temptations that will lead us back to the path of chemical addiction.

And recovery is also a constant state of being. No one ever says that “I have recovered.” Because it is an ongoing process, a new ongoing part of life, a new you.

But rather than look upon it as a sentence to serve out, and to complete, it is more an embracing of a new way of life that can lead us to a more rich, healthy, peaceful and fulfilling existence. 

In future posts, we will delve deeper into the components of such a recovery. For now, remember to take those baby steps, and know that it is a new journey for you. But with each new day comes new opportunities for growth, fulfillment and contentment. 

With each day, we gain more power over this illness, and how to reclaim the life that we have started to lose. 

Be good to  yourself, and remember to embrace the new you.